The 1st post in 2011
It’s nearly a year since my last post! I think I can confirm my blog is definitely dead now.. Haha..
Well.. The first thing I’m gonna write in a long while is about my grandpa’s funeral. He passed away on 15th May 2011 at the age of 75. It’s the first time I fully experienced the rituals of the funeral that was extremely elaborate – Taoist Hokkien Style.
My dad went to Malaysia first on the day of death itself while the rest of us went back on Monday for the wake at my grandparents’ house. That’s because on Sunday, we have a dinner to attend which my dad has already paid for. As we finally reached the place on Monday, it was with a mix of feelings that was hard to define.
Me and my siblings are not really close to our grandparents as we reside in Singapore. Among the siblings, I could be considered to be closer to my grandparents as I’m the eldest. What I felt was a mixture of sadness, fear, confusion, respect and a strange after-calmness.
Sadness – because I’ve lost my grandpa who’s dear to my father and me.
Fear – largely due to the lack of discernment of the funeral’s do’s and don’ts. And also because of the vast number of people that I do not know. Fear is largely due to the unknown…
Confusion – as I am quite estranged from my grandpa, there was a troubling mix of expectant grief and unfamiliarity.
Respect – my grandpa stood out to be a respected figure and an emobodiment of values such as humility, kindness, perserverance, patience, loyalty and diligence. Considering his age, which was relatively well lived, albeit the difficult last lap due to lung cancer, and also to be blessed with so many grandchildren, I think it is impressive of him to be able to raise up a large extended family.
Me and my siblings came back on wednesday while my parents stayed there till Sunday sorting out all the outstanding issues and bills. Anyways, the whole funeral was largely taken charge by my dad (No. 4 son) and my 2nd uncle. As you can see, there are some family conflicts and the eldest son did not take on any responsibility.. That’s a long story and it’s inappropriate for me to elaborate in detail..
All in all, this entry is in dedication to the memory of my grandpa and to preach the importance of family unity and responsibility to all who read this. I thank God for giving me wonderful parents who taught me and my siblings the confucian values that make us filial and loyal to family and friends.. 
When I’m alone in the midst of pain
or stress, troubles, whatever strains…
Who is there standing by?
It’s in the blood where the answer lies…
My parents and siblings are there!
They are there to love and be loved…
I know they are tied in heartstrings to me, praying for each other
Though I’m alone, I can seek comfort in this knowledge
And hence, I’m actually…
Not alone
